It's been a little while since I've posted. Our lives have become even busier in the last year if that's even possible. As most of you know our oldest son is labelled with Aspergers. Some days seem to stroll on and you'd think we were a typical family. With a few glitches here and there. But most entail quite a roller coaster of issues and emotions.
I've been told by people that they don't notice what I describe my sons behavior to be like. Aspergers can seem quite "normal." "My child does that," and "nothing unusual about that." but the intensity that comes with each and every situation is what is different. It can be very typical and not so bad but it can also be down right the most difficult and seemingly impossible meltdown ever. So you see where you might only see the slightly quirky and fun loving personality, those closest to the asperger child see and feel many emotions and struggles.
Today for instance, we had school as usual and had to get the dog from the groomer. Then off to laundry and regular tasks. Children keeping themselves occupied with the Wii, Legos, crafts, and TV. Anyhow I'm trying to wash and pack for a quick trip. And I take clothes into the boys room for them to put away. My son is happily playing with Legos that he takes great interest in and can build anything you can think of out of them. Unbelievable skills he has. But of course I am interrupting his enjoyment/fixation. I was disappointed by the shape the room was in. He and his brother share a bedroom. I quickly said the room needed cleaning up and they needed to put the clothes away now! Let me give you some back ground on this. I ask all the time for the clothes to be put away. It's truly never completed. So I get a little flustered by the stack that becomes a mess on the chest of drawers. And they are both aware of this and still continue to leave the stack. Ha. So of course I say "put the clothes away, now!". Well I bet you can guess that he wasn't happy about my intrusive demands. So he's starting to get fitful. Then I realize there are more to be folded so I say "wait a minute until I get these ready too." he comes in looking for the rest with the most disgusted face. And walks out knocking stuff over and that only set him off worse. Screaming at it and leaving the room without picking it up. Then of course I begin to call out to him to return to me. But he simply ignores me and continues into his room to be mad a throw a fit. When I finally get him in my presence again the conversation turns to "this is why I hate my life!" "Everyone thinks I'm weird!" "I have no friends!" "kids make fun of me!" "I just want a friend like so in so has!". All while crying miserably. He never wants to go to school again. He says kids say homeschoolers are stupid. And they have no experience. Whatever that means. And he says everyone calls him weird. So you can see how a little request of putting the clothes away turned into this.
Yesterday we had to go see his Psychiatrist. On the way I talked all about how incredibly smart he is and how God made him to be one of those incredible people that are capable of inventing something that will change the world. It was fun talking to him. But he only sees his difference as an impairment that won't allow others to enjoy what a wonderful creation he truly is. He hates how he feels sick all of the time. And how he can't sleep at night. And how terrible it makes him feel all day because if it. And school was such an awful experience that he now hates it altogether even at home.
I could elaborate on and on... There is so much left unsaid. But as you can see those "normal" behaviors you see are so much different for us. And if we ignore it we only do him a disservice. So we take him to therapy for behaviors. To help him train his brain to think like neuro typical people think. Or at least try. More so for social help. It's called ABA therapy. We love on him and try to help guide him as best we can. He doesn't see things like you do. His sensory system is very complex. Sound, sight, hearing, touch, they are all very sensitive. Which makes his world very complex. And sometimes it's hard to understand why he's so upset about things. But with more and more information beginning to become widely available hopefully more will begin to better understand kids and adults with autism. My goal is to help others see what life is like for these kids and their families. We love our kids just as much as you do yours. They are our world too. And we might be a little protective to the point of cougar-like but it's only because there are so many situations we are put in that we have to be. If we don't protect and fight for them who will? I'm so glad God allowed me to have all my children. They are perfectly made. I just need some extra prayer when I'm weary. :)
If you made it through my long winded post you deserve a medal. If I had one I'd surely give it to you. So if you see a mom struggling with her child at a store or restaurant instead of judging and suggesting a good spanking, please be kind and don't stare but smile and pray for them! God bless!!
I'm a silly person and love a good chuckle! I believe I am a bit on the ditsy side but who's keeping score?! ha On a more serious note: I love the Lord with all my heart, mind and soul! And my husband and children (family) are the most important things in my life! Hope I can be a blessing to those of you willing to torture yourselves and read this blog! LOL
Disclaimer:Silly blogspot has issues with comments. If you can't comment on my blog don't worry "YOU're not alone"!!! haha It's nothing personal or not that I know of. Because I can't comment either! BUT... If you choose the option: "Name/URL" and enter your name and if you have a website or blog you "can" but don't have to enter it. THEN you CAN comment. This is a just so you know. I don't wanting anyone going away without sharing their thoughts! Or thinking that we have something against them! We LOVE you! :)