I posted about our son a few weeks back.
You never know what will happen in a day or in our lives as we know it.
I am learning everyday that what we thought something was or is may not be what we thought it was at all. ha See how I can ramble. We have homeschooled our entire course of years except for one small stint last year first semester, when the kids attended a local Christian School. I suppose that would be why we overlooked some things we might have been made aware of had they attended a local school sooner. But anyway, we are in the process of having our son tested for any issues he may be dealing with. I will keep that topic vague until we have solid answers.
He has daily issues with anxiety, nausea, OCD (doesn't like going places and needs to know where and time frames), and even fits of anger. This list doesn't even touch the surface. Trouble is he appears to most to be completely fine and very smart. He is very smart! But he isn't fine. He has sleep trouble and focus issues. Sensory difficulties. Social difficulties. I could go on and on...
I do not say this for anyone to feel sorry or to be whiney just talking about it is a help for me. Plus I want to educate those around me as to why he acts the way he does or why he might say something that seems inappropriate. He does not intentially hurt peoples feelings, he has been taught to behave and be kind. He also doesn't get sarcasm as you or I do. For the longest time when I told the children they were being "ugly", he really thought I was saying he was "ugly"! Today he was angry and crying that he had to do Science. So while hugging me he gave me a fierce and fast "squeeze". It wasn't out of love, it was frustration. I see him lashing out and having a hard time working through his feelings. I know there are children and adults suffering with far worse mental issues. He can communicate some things but then others he simply doesn't know what it is his mind is fighting. It breaks my heart to think what might actually be going on in there. What he fears and thinks about. In this time we have searched for the answers from Physicians and so forth. I have come to realize these are things that have been present at least since he was 2 yrs. old. I suppose since he was never in daycare or school there was no one to notice the needs he had. I always assumed he was stubborn. He couldn't take naps as a toddler. He'd never go to bed at night. And even with no nap he would fight it, get out of bed until 11 and 12 o'clock at night. He had issues looking you in the eye. I had to constantly tell him to look at me. Which was a constant battle. I always assumed I didn't give him enough one on one attention. I had my babies very close together. He's the middle child. He is so smart. Loves Science, has compassion for animals and people, loves his video games, LOVES CHESS, loves Taekwondo, loves pizza and hotdogs, loves to wear althletic pants, loves his fleece pillow case, loves his Grandparents, Loves his DADDY!! He's a great child. I love him so much!! It breaks my heart to see him struggle and not understand why. He has nausea and it has made him miserable. It is being treated but not for sure what the REAL reason for it is quite yet. Could be the anxiety, could be Gastro issues, Could be.....????
So many IF's and not many FOR SURES! But God knows. We just have to be open to His plan and allow Him to lead us.
Whatever he is dealing with mentally will hopefully be brought to light very soon. I just can't spend every second explaining his behaviors. A friend told me she quit explaining. She knows why they do what they do. God is in control. We grow when we are in valleys. He wants us to be humble and reach out to those around us.
I pray I have told my story in an approving way that God might see fit. I pray for this blog and those that read it will know my heart. If you'd pray for Gabriel and us, I thank you so much!
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